So it’s been a busy end-of-year, and I’ve put off posting anything. I was considering doing a stream of conscious — like posting random thoughts from my iPhone when I’m taking a dump or something, but I still couldn’t find the time.
I managed to find some time today, and have found that for the most part, that’s really not a good thing. It gives me the opportunity to do things like catch up on MySpace and realize that for the most part, there are lots of people I don’t like.
And not in the “I didn’t like so-and-so in high school, and I still don’t like them on MySpace.” sense. More in the “Good lord, how did I not see these people as the white trash hillbillies they were?” sense. That’s not unilateral, by the way. I’m just sayin’.
In other news, I’m disappointed to see Sara Bareilles in commercials for whatever product that is that I won’t buy. I’m similarly disappointed about Regina Spektor. I’m reasonably convinced that I’m one of the first thousand or so people to “discover” a new artist, with Tori Amos fans hot on my heels.
Tori fans find out that the Sara Bareilles-es of the world couldn’t possibly be as bourgeois and trite as Tori herself, and toss them to the marketing sharks to get back at me for seeing Tori for who she really is. In the meantime, I have to put up with poignant songs being used to sell Subarus or getting shoehorned in Grey’s Anatomy soundtracks.
Why the fuck do people watch that show, anyway? I’ll tell you what… steal my iPod, find yourself a girl in middle school, and make her eat gravel. Got that? Now, find yourself some Saint Elsewhere reruns and bring in the girl from middle school. Still with me? Okay, have her read some of her poetry at the beginning, middle, and end of the show. When she’s not reading her poetry, put my iPod on Shuffle.
Sure, it’s harder than flipping on ABC, but anything worthwhile is. And this would infinitely more original and entertaining. You’ve got my word on it.
Speaking of being irritated, it’s that time of year when I have to hear about “Christian bashing” and what the “Founding Fathers” established this country on. So, here are some facts for you:
1) According to recent surveys (yeah, I’ll give you a link if you ask for one), 79% of Americans identify themselves as “Christian”, the majority of which identify as Catholic. You’re not a minority. Stop acting like one.
2) If you can’t make it through December without a creche, put one in your fucking yard.
3) Jesus isn’t the “reason for the season”. The reason Jesus is tacked on to December is due almost exclusively to missionaries trying to “ease the transition” for Druids, Wiccans, and others in Western Europe who celebrated Solstice. Jesus was actually born closer to mid September in the year 4 AD. Know your Bible, folks.
4) Thomas Jefferson, who basically wrote the Declaration of Independence and is indisputably the most influential of the Founding Fathers, was not Christian. The clause guaranteeing the separation of church and state was not and is not ambiguous. There’s no “spirit of…” there. He meant it, and reiterated it throughout the remainder of his life.
5) Golden Rings.
I don’t mean to have a Rodney King moment here, or anything. Hell, there’s egg nog in my refrigerator, and the Christmas presents are bought and (mostly) wrapped. Though we didn’t get a tree this year, so they’re under the 46″ HDTV — and if that isn’t an appropriate sentiment, I don’t know what is (however unintentional it happens to be).
Yes, it’s crass consumerism at its very worst. But it’s also a time for giving, receiving, and sharing time with people you care about. Can’t we just accept that it’s okay for that to happen without a sermon, or without educated indignance?
Happy holidays.
