Avid readers may recall that I bought a new Lancer a few months ago.
My precious...
However, I’ve not been quite as open about my shame.
In the midst of an economic Katrina, when credit was “impossible” to come by and GM and Chrysler were closer to death than they are now, I ran out and bought a new Japanese car.
And not even a good Japanese car. I mean, I think it’s good, but it isn’t like I’m some sort of Lexus or Acura loyalist. (And incidentally, I’m baffled that I’m the only person who seems to recognize that they’re just ridiculously overpriced Toyotas and Hondas)
I looked at all sorts of cars before buying, too. I actively tried to find an American car that hit the following marks:
- I can fit in it without bumping my head, or having to recline in to the back seat.
- My wife can comfortably sit in the passenger seat with the baby seat behind her.
- It gets more than 25 mpg
- It has enough power to make an 80 mile a day commute reasonably enjoyable.
I think the closest I came was a Pontiac G8, and the Cadillac CTS was in the running, though the mileage killed it.
Where am I going with this? Well, I had the opportunity to drive a Chevrolet Cobalt for a day.
Not the actual car, but I'm sure it's just as shitty.
This car is, without question, the shittiest car I have driven in the past five years. I’d say ever, were it not for the ’86 Escort stick I drove around with no coolant and a broken emergency brake.
No, not even Cameron would be jealous of this piece of shit.
No, it wasn’t your typical rental stripper either. It was some imaginary sport version that isn’t the SS, but had heated leather seats, a reasonably decent engine, super-special Pioneer speakers, a clunky transmission, worthless traction control, no fucking head room, awful interiors, pain-inducing seats, no steering response, a horrible turning radius, and fuck this car. Fuck this car.
I’ve always defended domestic cars. In all honesty, this shitmobile isn’t going to change that… much. Because it is ignorant to go on and on about how wonderful your Accord is, and to just assume all American cars are awful. They really aren’t. But man… if I was a dyed-in-the-wool Civic owner, this tragedy in engineering isn’t going to win any customers. I know what I think is very important to auto companies, so consider this free advice, execs.
